Misplaced Hearts

I am off to Washington D. C. today with Board member Herb McKenzie and Laurent Milmine who is Union Mission’s Director of Public Policy/Development. We are going because of some supporters of Union Mission put us in touch with their lobbyists to secure stimulus funding designated for them which they think that Union Mission should have instead.

I love D. C. and go there several times each year. The White House, the Capitol, the Smithsonian, the Mall, and the City itself are inspiring. I have been to the National Cathedral, the Library of Congress (for the first faith-based summit), the Church of the Savior, the National Alliance to End Homelessness, and the offices of Sojourner Magazine Community.

Once, Julie and I took a night time walk to the Lincoln Memorial on a hot summer night. We sweated and walked and thought that we would never get back to our hotel. We caught a cab the last four blocks. That was fun.

But I am not excited about this trip.

My heart is not in it. My heart is elsewhere. It is misplaced right now.

Still, you have to do the stuff that you are supposed to do, right? Regardless of whether or not you are in the mood for it! You get up, dust yourself off, and start again.

So, this morning, after a sleepless night, I dragged myself out of bed, showered the dust away, and here I am at the airport waiting to take off to visit some of our nation’s elected people, which is not the same as visiting leaders. Some are. Most are not. Most were simply fortunate enough to get elected.

Still, it is part of the work. Over the holidays, Skip Eloge our CFO and I were talking at some point. I was doing something for the 21st time in my 21 years at Union Mission and was working hard to pump myself up to do it.

He asked, “Is it was always this hard?”

In the early days … well no!

Anytime that you do things for the first time or two they are fun!

Somewhere around the 10th time, they become routine.

When you get to the 20th, it takes work. This could be attending the same event, playing the same game, making love to your significant other, or running the same course. Twenty years of marriage takes work. Twenty years in the same position doing the same thing takes work.

So today, I am working hard. Especially hard! Because my heart is not in it! But the work is worth it. People who are suffering need me to succeed. Union Mission needs help because we do so many things for so many all of the time. So even though I am mentally and emotionally not really here, I am doing my best.

But that is what you do when your heart is misplaced.

You keep at it and pray like hell that eventually your heart catches up.