Another Day of Chasing the Rainbow

My adopted mentally ill, former bank robber, current janitor, adopted son Charles was sitting on the front steps of Grace House. I was heading in from a budget meeting that had been difficult and frustrating. I saw him sitting there in his bright orange shirt, talking to himself as he does, so I stopped and sat beside him.

"Hey Charles."

"Hello Sir." Charles mostly calls me sir.

"You ok?" I ask.

He nods his head with his eyes closed.

"You want to talk?"

He shakes his head from side to side with his eyes closed.

I sigh. Then I pat his shoulder and get up. Some things you just can't figure out. Charles is certainly one of them but yesterday was filled with things that I just couldn't figure out.

There was the budget process that the staff has worked on for months but it still seemed disconnected. I wondered why.

There was the fact that everything didn't happen in real time but it was all late and behind schedule somehow.

A simple presentation before the Step Up Board of Directors that I made turned into an eruption of suppressed frustration and emotion. Politicians pontificated and I ended up defending something that should not have needed defending.

A wonderful and magical evening slipped away somehow.

I hope today is better though I have my suspicions. First off I have to go to Atlanta today and meet with Jim Lientz and the heads of four government agencies. Jim is the state's Chief Operations Officer. We are giving a two-and-a-half presentation about what went wrong with our attempt to fix mental health services in Savannah.

This was Jim's idea and I don't expect much out it. Yesterday I kept expecting more and ended up late at night sitting on my sofa wondering what had gone wrong. Today?

Well, I know me. I will still expect more. Hopeless romantics always do. And there is Charles to think about. He reminds me of the need to keep trying even when I have failed or when things have gone wrong. So here I go. Another day of chasing the rainbow.