Chaplin of the Breakfast Club

One of my many responsibilities as we work to save this corner of the world is to serve as the Chaplin of the World Famous Breakfast Club on Tybee Island. Apparently, while I have been away the last couple of weeks things at the Club went to hell.

Without its moral compass, the staff evidently committed all seven deadly sins. Some more than once. The place was in disarray and, inexplicably, the only one who stayed out of trouble and refused to involve himself in all of the depravity was...Justin!It got so bad that Ryan Sadowski took to taking police mug shots of himself and posting them on Face Book!

Sitting on the beach in St. Martin, basking in the sun, I felt the call of God, walked to my room and turned on my computer. When I saw Ryan's picture, the Spirit of God led me to write him immediately and tell him that he looks stupid. When I did, about 300 other Face Book'ers all wrote "Amen!"

I told Ryan that things seems out of control and he responded. "Things are really bad - your presence is sorely missed - the absence of prayer in the BC is extremely evident - one John doesn't come in til nine to get coffee, the other John nearly kills the new guy in the dish room. Dad was busing tables in his golf attire and the delivery truck somehow forgot ... Bacon!( we've been out for 2 days) Please hurry back - We're struggling!"

Jodee busing tables in golf shoes? No bacon at the BREAKFAST Club? Damn this was bad. I knew that my work was cut out for me.

So, I've been back for two days now and while it took every single one of those 42 hours, I would like to describe this morning's scene. I stumbled in the door marked "Exit Only", wished a quiet, hard working crew, a good morning. They looked good with ironed Breakfast Club tee shirts. Each had Brill Cream in their hair, except Chris who had simply smeared it on his shaved head. Each pleasantly wished me a good morning and continued working hard.

I peacefully strolled around the counter and poured myself a cup of the cook's coffee which is sometimes used as fuel in jet airplanes. Sitting on my normal stool, I opened the morning paper. Soft contemporary Christian music played on the radio.

The door marked "Exit Only" burst open and Johnny O, right on time, greeted everyone with his customary verb and pronoun. He grabbed his cup of cook's coffee, sat beside me and immediately began to break the law (I still have some work to do with Johnny O).

Caroline arrived dressed sharply in a Catholic School girl's uniform and immediately went to work making customer coffee. Then sweet Jamie joined her. (Now I have a serious crush on Jamie. She is perhaps 19 or 20 and if I were younger, say 49 or 50, I would be all over her! But alas, I am not.) Then the rest of the crew arrived, all on a prison release work program.

When Dave and Sandy arrived at 7:00, I knew that it was safe to turn things over to them and get to my real job at Union Mission. I wished everyone a good morning and they all waved bye in unison.

As I walked out the door marked "Exit Only" Val was entering and she was looking rough. She was holding up her pants with one of her hands. As the person who would be running the cash register, I knew that this was a bad omen. The moment she began to make change, well...there go the pants. Alas, this would have to be tomorrow's project.

So, Mrs. Sadowski, I am back and working quiet hard.

Be the way, can you tell me where Ryan is?