Taking and Giving

Goddess didn't want me to run this morning. When I got on the floor to stretch and do push-ups she crawled up under me and wanted to play. She had me giggling at 7 a.m. Then I wrapped the bandanna around my forehead and grabbed my I-pod to go for my run anway. She blocked the door in defiance. She can be a real bitch sometimes.

But she was so cute and her tail was wagging at the speed of light so I laughed again and conceded. We went for a long walk instead. The tides are very high and the wind is whipping and Goddess loves this weather.

Making our way to the end of Shirley's sad but holy little dock, Goddess stood still with her head held high. Her gaze was across the marsh and I watched her watch the Back River. This is the first time that I've ever noticed Goddess lingering. She was in no hurry to leave the dock.

So I pet her and give her loves and ponder the day. I feel like a million bucks as I have since Thursday when I ran around the Washington monument and felt myself being reborn.

I ponder the wealth of friends who have been incredible over the pst few months. Each and every one has been incredible. And I think that I have been doing all of the taking lately. I've had so little to give. But the good friends didn't seem to mind so they kept it a one way relationship for a while.

Goddess decides to lick my knee as I think these things. She is ready to go. So we walk. Throughout the past few months I have tried to express thanksgiving for a lot of people. But now I am back and it is time for me to start giving. It feels good to think these things.

Back home, Goddess continues to play while I jump on the phone and call a friend who is handling some rough stuff right now. There is the sad weariness that I have come to know too well as I traveled through the dark places. But there is also laughter that erupts through. And I hold on to the laughter and tuck it in my heart because I want to grow it so that it becomes a constant thing.

And Goddess backs up between my legs wanting me to rub her. So I hang up the phone with a lighter heard and play with her. It is the start of a great day!